i am

scared.

this is why


"If some permanent members of the UNSC wish to put sanctions first before dialogue, we would respond with bolstering our nuclear deterrence first before we meet them in a dialogue," according to KCNA.

no shortage of wild-life tees in Maine, USA

July has flown by. Seriously. Although there are many topics worth mentioning, I'm choosing to blog about wolf t-shirts. You heard me. During my time in Maine this month, I couldn't help but notice the plethora of wildlife t-shirts in almost every store. I think I even caught some people trying to sneak a few "wise indian sitting on a horse" or "majestic eagle" tee's into J. Crew...This might be old news, but my sis told me about the wolf t-shirt section of amazon.com and I found it amazing.



The t-shirt in itself is noteworthy (by the way, the name of the shirt is "mountain men's three wolf moon tee"), but the reviews left by obviously satisfied customers is what tears me to pieces.

For Example: B. Govern said

"This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.
I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.
Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark."

Woah. That's no amateur review; this guy knows his wolf t-shirts. I could go through it sentence by sentence and break it down, but I don't want to take away from any of its brilliance. That's just the first review on the site, there's a lot more where that came from.

After skimming youtube for 1.5 seconds, I found a local TV station's take on the shirt.



I love how they have the part about some McDonald's worker throwing hot oil all over a robber's face right before they talk about the shirt. Bet that guy owns a wolf tee. And I bet he was wearing it under his Mickey D's uniform. Or maybe he's the one who said he was getting it tattooed onto his chest. Huh. Smart move, dude, looks like that investment paid off. One of the first things I thought when they actually got to the wolf-tee topic was, "No, I'm not allergic to 'awesome', so I guess that means I can keep watching." Thank God.

Oh and don't worry tiger fans, there's a shirt for you too.

bermuda, bahama, come on pretty mama

While in Bermuda, I read the best book I've picked up thus far in the year: The Boy Who Fell Out of the Sky by Ken Dornstein. It's a true story centering around the author, Ken, who lost his brother in the Lockerbie air disaster in 1988.



I can't do it any justice by just talking about it, but its one of those books that had me laughing and crying (kind of an embarrassing thing to be doing on the beach...unless you're David Hasselhoff). I'm not usually a fan of memoirs. They tend to be pretty cheesy, written mostly for the writer's enjoyment and personal satisfaction, while containing no literary worth. Wait, did I just describe my blog? Anyway, Ken Dornstein is a pretty freaking awesome writer, so check it out.

FML

Oh the joys of driving a Toyota Corolla. For example: Snapshot view of the parking lot from my apartment. If only I could tell you how many times I have tried opening the wrong car...



Mine will always be the best...no matter how many times I get it confused with the others. Yep.

my favorite michael jackson memory

Ok, so maybe we've never actually met, but who doesn't have their favorite MJ dance party moment? That's what I thought. Mine takes place in middle school in good ole dance class; they made EVERYONE take it at my middle school. Imagine every kid you knew in middle school (yes, the awkward years to make things even better) aimlessly flailing their arms and legs in every direction all to the dismay and entertainment of the human being who chose "middle school dance teacher" as a profession. If only they made everyone take dance in college...Anyway, back to MJ. My favorite and most memorable dance routine learned in middle school was our dance to Thriller. Man, dance teachers sure do love to whip that song out around Halloween. When the song starts, we'd all be laying on the ground, then get out of our invisible coffin when the music cues, and then burst out into the Thriller dance. There is nothing better than thirty 7th graders doing the Thriller dance in unison. If only I could have fully appreciated it at the time. RIP, Michael Jackson!

this is like...LIFE, man...

so, since everyone is doing top 10 lists...

I guess I'll throw one out there. In the month of June, these songs have managed to keep me sane.

10. Where I Stood-Missy Higgins

9. Against the Wind-Bob Seger

8. The Sun Also Sets-Ryan Adams

7. Heavenly Day-Patty Griffin

6. Come Downstairs and Say Hello-Guster (I mean...I had to)

5. Lying in the Hands of God-Dave Matthews Band

4. The General Specific-Band of Horses

3. Mykonos-Fleet Foxes

2.You Are the Best Thing-Ray Lamontagne

I'm suddenly feeling a lot of pressure about my number one song at the moment...that's a pretty big shoe to fill. But I'll go with...

1. Come Pick Me Up-Ryan Adams


Stay tuned (no pun intended...ha ha ha..) for next month.