no shortage of wild-life tees in Maine, USA

July has flown by. Seriously. Although there are many topics worth mentioning, I'm choosing to blog about wolf t-shirts. You heard me. During my time in Maine this month, I couldn't help but notice the plethora of wildlife t-shirts in almost every store. I think I even caught some people trying to sneak a few "wise indian sitting on a horse" or "majestic eagle" tee's into J. Crew...This might be old news, but my sis told me about the wolf t-shirt section of amazon.com and I found it amazing.



The t-shirt in itself is noteworthy (by the way, the name of the shirt is "mountain men's three wolf moon tee"), but the reviews left by obviously satisfied customers is what tears me to pieces.

For Example: B. Govern said

"This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.
I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.
Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark."

Woah. That's no amateur review; this guy knows his wolf t-shirts. I could go through it sentence by sentence and break it down, but I don't want to take away from any of its brilliance. That's just the first review on the site, there's a lot more where that came from.

After skimming youtube for 1.5 seconds, I found a local TV station's take on the shirt.



I love how they have the part about some McDonald's worker throwing hot oil all over a robber's face right before they talk about the shirt. Bet that guy owns a wolf tee. And I bet he was wearing it under his Mickey D's uniform. Or maybe he's the one who said he was getting it tattooed onto his chest. Huh. Smart move, dude, looks like that investment paid off. One of the first things I thought when they actually got to the wolf-tee topic was, "No, I'm not allergic to 'awesome', so I guess that means I can keep watching." Thank God.

Oh and don't worry tiger fans, there's a shirt for you too.